Story:

At 25, I began living in Istanbul. It was my first time living in a foreign country and the first time living without my parents. This was a critical chapter in my life, and I wanted to document this journey not just for myself, but to share with family and future generations.

I chose this blue journal specifically because it represents Istanbul and the beauty and pain of survival. When I have a bad day, I can look at it and remind myself that while today might be difficult, tomorrow will be better. Scanning through the pages helps me recognise that my life isn’t all bad. There’s beauty in the elements I’ve recorded.

I grew up in a very protected environment where everything was done for me. I had better living conditions and didn’t need to work, but this meant I was becoming increasingly dependent on my parents. At 25, as a woman, I felt the urge to take life into my own hands.

I originally came to Istanbul as a tourist on a seven-day tour package, but I immediately felt it wasn’t enough time. I had to return, but this time to stay.

Ironically, I feel more free here than I did in Manila. There’s no pressure to start a family or find a husband. Back home, most people my age are getting married or having kids, and that was my expectation too. I felt like I would have failed if I didn’t achieve that by this age. It took leaving my country to realise I wouldn’t have had it any other way. Both Philippine and Turkish cultures share similarities. People typically live with their families until marriage. For me, it was crucial to live independently first, so that I could navigate the world on my own, and so that if and when I do start a family in the future, I won’t feel like I missed out on anything.

Living in a new place isn’t always smooth, but Istanbul is special. There is beauty and gems in between the challenges. It’s like a love-hate relationship, something always pulls you back. This journal is my open book and I have nothing to be ashamed of because I haven’t done anything wrong. There’s no shame in sharing your struggles and the beauty that comes with them.

I wanted this journal to be like a children’s book: not just words, but a visual compilation of different elements from my life here. When I meet new friends, I share this journal with them to show them my journey and the person I’m becoming.

– Patricia Araza