Story:
When I was living in Kazakhstan, I wanted to put a picture of a horse on the wall in my apartment. In Kazakh culture, horses are sacred, and have helped people throughout hard times during the nomadic period. This colourful horse represents celebration, good life, and prosperity, and I wanted to attract these qualities into my life. I couldn’t find an exact copy here in Istanbul or bring my original painting from Kazakhstan, so I found inspiration online, painted a smaller version myself, and then ordered a larger printed copy to see if I liked it. It worked perfectly, and now I have this beautiful printed piece that inspires me everyday.
Looking at the horse fills me with motivation. It reminds me of celebration, prosperity, wealth, and health. In Kazakh tradition, colorful horses are gift horses or celebration horses adorned with colourful textiles and gold, symbolising prosperity and the journey I’m going through. This artwork keeps me inspired and motivated, reminding me why I’m working so hard in the short term.
I left Kazakhstan because I could feel that there’s a huge world around me that I needed to explore. Istanbul is the perfect place for this. It’s a hub of cultural exchange, both modern and rich in history. It’s ideal for someone like me who wants to explore a little bit of everything. Even staying in the same city, I meet people from around the world and feel like I’m traveling without actually leaving. This is the feeling I get most days when I encounter different people in the city.
My hometown of Astana is very local. It’s not a central hub like Istanbul. While it has historical significance and connecting flights, life there can be very cold and harsh. It’s comfortable and nice, but it lacks the dynamics I crave. That comfort zone made me realise that I needed to go out and explore myself, to learn new things about my personality.
As a woman, I was more feminine back home in Kazakhstan, where the society is more patriarchal. But at the same time, there are many strong Kazakh women with a free spirit and nomadic strength. They became strong because they had to be in that society. The patriarchal system made me feel more feminine in my attitudes and dressing style. I wore more classically feminine clothes and lots of dresses. But here in Istanbul, being more independent has allowed my masculinity and femininity to meet in the middle. Now I feel a 50/50 balance between the two because I can do both, and I respect people who show their opposite sides. When a man can be feminine or a woman can be masculine, it’s the perfect balance in nature. I’m not scared to show either side of myself anymore, especially living abroad alone in a huge city like Istanbul. Moving alone without relatives, just with a couple of friends was my decision, and it forced me to bring out both my masculine and feminine sides to find the perfect balance.
– Sangerim Makina